2010 Resolutions

Lets see how many I can stick to!!

1. Loose 60 pounds
2. GET BETTER
3. Get Medicaid approved
4. File for disability
5. Get more involved in family stuff
6. Hang out with friends more
7. Give up soda
8. Keep up on my reading
9. Stay away from arts & crafts, they cost to much lol (yes, that includes my scrapbooking)
10. BE A BETTER HOUSE WIFE
11. Find a reasonable diet & STICK WITH IT
12. Quit being so down on myself, Start Therapy
13. Maybe take photography classes
14. Be a better sister, daughter, wife & grand-daughter
15. Quit being on facebook so much??
16. Hang out with my nieces and nephews more (seems like a lot of these have to do with family)
17. Stop cursing so much, good luck self lol
18. Get over some of my phobias
19. Leave my hair alone and let it grow
20. I can't think of anything else at the moment, I just needed it to be an even number >.<

Only Thing I Got For Christmas

Was Swine Flu

GIRLS NIGHT

Staying at mom's apartment for the night :) Lee is in Indy bowling with Bradley.

Christmas is on a hold! Jon just got home from the doctor, he's got the swine flu :( He's not allowed human contact for five days! He's stuck upstairs in our room, and I'm stuck downstairs. Pray for a speedy recovery!

I can't believe Christmas is this week. I only bought Jon a present, and he already knows what it is! Damn him lol. And he told me what mine was! GRRR. All he said was that it's a Wii game. All three families picked different days this year so I'm excited! Christmas eve is with my siblings, Christmas day is my family, and the 26th is Christmas with the Brierlys'. We're planning on leaving Christmas night for the farm and then we'll be there all day the 26th.

Dexter Season Four Episode 12

OMFG who all watches Dexter? Jon and I just watched the last episode of season four, and we thought it was tame till the last scene! WTF! The whole time I was hoping it was just a dream Dexter was having, but I doubt it. Are they going to have another season after that? According to the web there is going to be a season five, but after that they're not sure how much longer Dexter can keep on killing. I heart Dexter, and I personally think that season four had a horrible ending. All I'm going to say if you haven't seen it yet, SOMEONE DIES.

Apparently December is Pokemon picture month!

(Warning this is kind of long)

So I came home earlier than expected. I left Sunday afternoon to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. I stayed the first night in a hotel room because I didn’t check in till Monday morning at 8:00AM. I had my grandma and my mother-in-law with me, they stayed in Methodist Towers Hotel that had a skywalk on the third floor so you didn’t have to go outside to get to the hospital. It was still a really long walk though, and they got lost trying to get my room A LOT! I got checked in and hooked up to the machines really fast. The glue they used to stick the EEG wires to me smelled like I was in a closed in room with a ton of bottles of open rubber-cement glue! Ew… (Attached at pictures my grandma took, the last one she took while I was asleep she said I looked so cute holding my tiger, she’s nuts I know. That tiger is like my comfort thing, Jon gave it to me our first Valentines day together.)

Anywho! I liked the nurses they were sweet to me. I had a little black button that I pressed whenever I felt a seizure coming on, and there was a camera on me ALL the time. I had to unplug it a couple times because it was super sensitive and everytime I bumped it it went off and people came a running in. When I was having a seizure they would hold on to my arm that had the IV in it and it hurt like hell, I wanted them to let go! They kept saying "You're ok" and I told my grandma if I could talk during a seizure I would of said "I'm having a seizure do I look okay to you!" I have a horrible short fuse! My mother-in-law told me they just did that to calm me down, and I told her that they weren't calming me down they were ticking me off! She just laughed until she realized I was serious. Plus for people that work with people who have seizures they didn't do a whole lot. Like sometimes my tongue cuts off my air in my throat so I have to be turned onto my side so I can breathe, and they just left me on my back! I had some seizures while I was there, I don’t feel like they got enough information though, and they didn’t do any blood work. I past the time with my books, and I had a 30” flat screen TV, so I watched the only DVD I had with me, The 10th Kingdom.

Whenever someone important came into my room to talk to me, of course my grandma wasn’t there. I need her there for stuff like that because she always thinks of a million questions I wouldn’t of thought of in a million years, but of course when the doctor came in Tuesday to talk to me and tell me what they had found out of course grandma was lost! They told me my seizures weren’t epileptic. They said they were caused by stress! Of all the million little things it could be they say it’s stress! Well no one in my family except my mother-in-law thinks it’s right. One of the doctors there said that over time I’m like a glass of water and everything that happens to me is like another drop in the glass, and my glass just over flowed and my body delt with it by having seizures. I just looked at her, and was like are you serious? Needless to say I hate that Hospital and I don't like a lot of the people there, but some of them I did like.

So my neurologist will get the test results within a week, and he’ll either want to see me sooner than my appointment which is January 6th. Then he’ll recommend me to a mental health doctor to help me deal with my stress to stop the seizures. After the doctors left I was so ticked off, Jon’s mom didn’t know how to deal with me. They told me to stop taking my valium as needed and take it once a day and take more if I feel more stress. So their plan is to keep me doped up on Valium…

So I looked it up on google and I have Psychogenic NonEpileptic Seizures. It’s a tough topic because people used to think people with this were faking to get attention. Usually seizures like this happen when you have a loss of a loved one or something that’s a drastic change, or being sexually or physically abused. All the big stuff that made me go into depression happened 10 years ago when dad died and all over again 7 years ago when my grandpa died so why would these seizures happen now? In the last few years I did have big changes, 2007 I graduated high school, started beauty school, and got married, 2008 I graduated beauty school and started my first job, 2009 I had to quit my job because the pain of my endometriosis was too much to bare anymore. So I don’t know what’s going to happen now. Hopefully with the right medicine and I guess therapy I’ll get better, hopefully. Lets just pray this is the right diagnosis and I’ll get better soon! Because me being sick isn’t just stressful with me, it’s put a toll on everyone close to me. It’s a lot to worry about. Thank god my husband is so strong to stick by me, and I got a great family and some awesome friends to love me and support me.

Music & Boredum

I AM SO BORED! Theres really nothing to do online... I really have nothing to say... I'm waiting on my music to download so I can update my iPod for my trip to Indianapolis tomorrow. Grandma and I went shopping earlier, I bought a cord that hooks my iPod up to the computer so I didn't have to keep stealing Jons lol. And I bought a book, I needed a new book like I need another hole in the head lol. And I bought PJs that button up because they told me I didn't have to wear a hospital gown, and I was all for that. I need to pack my crap for tomorrow, but I don't wanna at the moment. I'm lazy.

I'm freezing, I hate winter so much! Theres no point to it! Except maybe the ground gets watered...

Health Update

December 2nd, 2009

I wrote this on my facebook journal, I'm just coping and pasting it here as an update.

Well I'm not going to UofL. They waited till the day BEFORE I was to come in to tell me how much it'd cost me since I didn't have health insurance. If I lived in KY they could of helped me, but since I don't it was going to cost me nearly $30,000 to go to the seizure center! $5,000 a day! I freaked out because theres no way in hell we could afford that! I came downstairs crying my eyes out & fell, told grandma what happened & she called UofL back & bitched them out for causing me stress cuz one of the main reasons of my seizures is STRESS! I called Jon's mom in tears cuz Jon was busy @ work & so was my mom, I <3

I just can't believe the nerve of waiting till the day before. I wish I could of heard what my grandma said to that woman on the phone, but I had to leave because when I cry I could raise the dead. All I heard was "I don't know what the heck you said to my granddaughter but she's in tears and you should be ashamed of yourself!! $%^&*" I love my grandma. She hates to see me cry. I felt bad bothering Jon so much at work, I know I shouldn't call to bother him, but it felt like an emergency to me while I was crying. I ended up having a seizure while I was on the phone with him. His idea was changing my ID to saying I live in Kentucky so I could go to UofL lol. His mom had the similar thought. But we don't know how long you'd have to be a citizen of the state or anything. So Uof Indianapolis is probably our best bet. It's the place we went when my mom was really sick in 2004 & they cured her so I'm pretty positive about it. Just got to wait for Dr. Seipel to call us back. My grandma & Jon's mom will be staying in the adjoining hotel to the hospital. It's got one of those hallways up in the air that connects the hospital to the hotel, it's really nice. I didn't stay much in the hotel while my mom was there because she had a two bedroom hospital room and I slept in the bed next to her.

Well lets just pray that I get into UofIndy soon.

NOW:

UofL was full, so I'm going to Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana. Jon isn't going with me because he just got two new members on his team at work and he needs to train the the best he can, he just needs one more member and he gets promoted! So Sunday afternoon around 2:00 we're leaving my house. It takes about two hours to get to Indianapolis, my mom's fiance, Lee, is driving. It's going to be cramped in that car, my mom is going just to be going, and in the backseat will be me, grandma, and my mother-in-law. Mom and Lee will be gong back home that night and I don't check into the hospital till EARLY 8:00AM on Monday morning so I'll be staying in the hotel with grandma and my mother-in-law for one night. The hotel is a part of the hospital so it's going to be real easy for them to get to my room. Once I've checked in I'll be there till Thursday. I'll be hooked up by machines and have a 24 hour EEG everyday that I'm there. It should be to boring, I haven't heard anything about what to bring so I'm assuming I can bring the same stuff that UofL told me I could. So I'm bringing books, movies, my iPod, cellphone, and my mom's mini laptop. If they tell me I can't have it then my grandma will just take it back to her hotel room. Only thing I'm freaking out about is that they're going to have an IV in me the whole time I'm there. I have a huge phobia of IVs. So I'm seriously going to be freaking out the first day.

Vagina Vacation

The title just makes me laugh haha. I was on www.imdb.com and I saw this movie poster. It came out in October 2009 only in Canada. All I know about it is that it's about a woman who just had her 18th child and she was ready to have another one, but her vagina isn't ready and takes off to have a vacation. I have no idea how thats possible but it sounds funny haha.

Alice

Recently a two episode movie just came out on the Syfy channel and I loved it! It's called Alice. It's not the traditional story of Alice In Wonderland, they took some main points out of it & made Alice more modern. I suck at describing movies so I'll just say it's worth it to watch it, and it has a very cute ending. Oh, and the guy who plays Hatter, Andrew Lee Potts, is HOT haha. The girl who plays Alice is Caterina Scorsone. Kathy Bates plays the Queen of Hearts. It also has Tim Curry in it but he only has one scene.

Twilight Saga: New Moon

I was kinda giving up hope on Jon taking me to see New Moon, so I found a good copy of it online. The images were kinda grainy and the scenes that were really dark were kinda hard to see, but over all it was a good copy. Jon was glad to be off the hook to take me lol. I actually really liked New Moon, and can't wait for Eclipse. A ton of people say Twilight is better, but I'm 50/50 on that. The characters looked different. I had to do a double take on the girl who plays Rosalie because it looked nothing like her. Taylor Lautner was really cute in this movie. New Moon I'm sure made a lot of Team Edward fans switch over to Team Jacob. Robert Pattinson looked sick in this movie. He was super pale and his lips were super red. Hopefully that changes in Eclipse, I think they did it just because he's supposed to be depressed and sick over leaving Bella. I think the movie was better because it had a different director. The wolves could of been better, but they were good. I give the movie a 9/10.

Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

I was kinda forced to see this movie. The plan was Jon and his bestfriend, Mat, go see it and I see Twilight: New Moon by myself because I knew Jon didn't want to see it & I hate making Jon sit through chick flicks. Well that plan got ruined because before we left for the movies I had had a seizure at my brothers house and then at Mat's house I had two more where I stopped breathing. So me going to see a movie by myself kinda got thrown out the window. I was a brat the whole way to the movie and looking back I feel retarded. This movie was good, for not seeing the first movie I thought it was really good. The action scenes were good. If you love the TV show Dexter, one of the main characters in the movie is Julie Benz, Dexter's wife. I only missed a little of the movie because I was really weak, but I didn't miss much. I give the movie a 9/10.

Ninja Assassin

Jon and I went to go see this movie and it was AMAZING! I give it a 10/10! Not once was I bored, actually Jon caught me with my mouth open and saying "WOW" a lot. Of course this movie is only good if you love action movies, and ninja movies. If you don't like movies with a lot of blood then I wouldn't recommend it.